Summer Nights

My post earlier today was a bit mean spirited, but it's only intention was humor. I will admit that I was venting a bit of pent up frustration of many things, not just dating. I like dating, and I'm glad I'm doing it for once. I'm a little upset with myself because I allowed Fling to take precedence over Lunch Date possibly to the point where Lunch Date assumed I lost interest. By pushing Lunch Date down, I've definitely let Nachos and Pepper Spray fall completely off the radar. They must think I hate them. Lunch Date has been out of town though, so I hope we'll pick things back up soon, and after I get this damn test out of the way, I'll have time again for my friends and the others. I've been so stressed about my class and the GRE that I've gotten behind at work, and now I'm stressed at work about meeting this month's protocol. Vicious cycle.

But here I am, it's late, and my caffeine buzz from studying at my favorite cafe is finally dying down. It is very warm tonight-- my windows are open and my fan is spinning & creaking above my head. There is something about summer nights that put me in a nostalgic mood. I just want to lay outside on my back, gaze up at the sky, let the warm breeze blow over me, and reminisce about anything and everything. I've been feeling like I'm missing a lot of things lately, and I'm finally taking a bit of time to really contemplate and pinpoint what I've been missing.

I miss...

my family in other cities and states

my friends in other cities, states & countries

I miss...

having free time in the evenings

reading for leisure

watching movies

I miss...

carefree days of childhood

lack of responsibility

games, toys, Christmas mornings

wrestling with siblings, playing with my doggie

Greenhorn, Sandy Mountain, hammocks, horseshoes, Kick the Can

I miss...

hot chocolate and cous-cous in Paris

tom ka gai soup and sticky rice & mango in Thailand

faking british accents and getting lost on buses in London

24 hour diners and shopping and secret bars in NYC

I miss...

a cozy nook to nestle in

a strong yet comfortable chest to lay on

a feeling of happy vulnerability

a sense of effortless and everlasting belonging

an uncomplicated and unexplained companionship and love

I find it quite amazing that with all my running around, all my errands, all my stressors, I still have time to miss, to want, to yearn for more. I feel "busily lonely" ... I know that makes no sense...